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X Spira says once you start getting into a habit of setting up dates with one or more people, it can get easy to fall into the trap of playing the field.“If someone continues to play the field, and doesn’t take a digital leap of faith with one person, they may end up on a merry-go-round and end up in a series of one-and-done dates, or dates that don’t go past a few weeks,” she says.
To act like youth is an eternal state — that a person who is currently 23 and not totally sure about how to pick a good bottle of wine or operate their dishwasher, will exist in that state forever — is actively denying the facts of our own lives.
As noted relationship therapist Stevie Nicks put it, "Times makes you bolder/ Even children get older/ And I'm getting older, too".
People have a much easier time, it seems, getting on board with the idea of a woman taking a younger partner for purely sexual reasons than they do with the idea of a woman in a serious relationship with a younger partner.The line of thinking that all younger guys are total scrubs dances around the fact that all older guys were once younger guys — and that younger guys will soon be older guys.Our personalities remain more consistent through the years, but the window dressing of maturity tends to change pretty darn quick — which is how, despite having the same age gap, my once "scandalously young" partner is now seen as pretty age appropriate for me.God knows that's what I felt, while dating the above-noted older dude — I felt like his desire for me marked me as more mature and interesting than my peers.To date someone younger is to consciously reject a lot of this.
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For this reason, being a woman with a younger partner is often viewed in a negative light. We can fight this totally gross line of thinking by agreeing to view younger people that we have chemistry as real possible partners — and by not constantly "joking" about any woman we know who happens to have a younger partner.