Dating someone with the same birthday as you
"There is an old saying, that 'laugher is the best medicine,' and I believe it is one of the best ingredients for a relationship too." Just have fun together, people!"When I was younger, I had a friend who was perhaps the best-looking guy I had ever seen," dating expert Noah Van Hochman tells Bustle. "My friend, however, was smitten, he loved this women with a passion I have rarely seen."The point is, sometimes that simple, magical, mysterious sense of je ne sais quoi is all you need to stick a relationship together with incredibly strong glue and make it work for the long haul."Never in my life have I been more OK to bring up a controversial topic, something that has been bothering me, or even instigate an argument," she tells Bustle."My feelings are never undermined, and everything I say is heard and given a thoughtful response."It's not just luck, though, or only because her partner is so great; Roberts also handles conflict well, and appropriately.Roberts, founder of To Be a Slut and cofounder of I'd Tap That, didn't realize until she met her current partner.In her current relationship, she feels comfy bringing up issues, which hasn't always been the case.In fact, there was only one thing that was echoed by three different experts: values.It seems as though the way our partners see things like religion, family, sex and money, as well as the way they see the world, is essential to a healthy, happy, compatible, simpatico relationship.
"You can't get oranges from an orange tree that you don't water."This third being needs love and support as much as we do as individuals."Think about it: If you have five years' history with someone, the relationship you share is no longer just about you and them; it also becomes about your mutual experience.Everything from inside jokes to missed trains to fights to reconciliations to birthdays goes on this list, and becomes something of a collected, common, ever-present force.(It's also worth saying that everyone has different conflict styles, and yours either aligns with your partners', or the two of you will have to figure out how to make your differing styles align if you're going to get anywhere together.) "I know what I personally need before I enter into a heated conversation," Roberts says: "Taking a moment to myself to breathe deeply and examine where and why my feelings are coming from, so I can calmly explain my end; and he knows he has to give me this space if he wants a rational and logical conversation," she says."Every single argument we've entered or issue we've discussed has brought us wildly closer together afterwards" as a result of their harmonious conflict style.