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It never felt weird to not mention my pregnancy (because private!), but the first time a conversation about birth control came up, I wasn’t prepared. “I can’t get pregnant,” I said in a way that I hoped would curtail follow-up questions.Here she was again, and this time, I had nothing to lose. The next day, I got a notification that she had taken the first step and sent me a note.
In turn, I was beginning to feel like I was lying rather than just keeping something private.Around that point, I went on a first date with someone who lived close by — a potential perk in the fling department, such ease!— and as we talked about music, road trips and the perils of cycling in the city, I had to keep reminding myself to keep my hands on the table.As I perused, telling myself I was getting the final few swipes out of my system, a woman came up who looked amazing: a total babe, smart and funny.She was, in fact, someone I’d seen online a year before but because she had seemed so cool, I felt nervous, balked and logged off without taking any action. But I’ve just decided not to date anymore, I thought, so I closed the app without messaging her.