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Which is to say, it looks and feels like a regular conversation. But, it could also just be a legit platonic hang out. Chad could also deny it not because he’s shy but because he wants to play coy and flirty, something like “A date? Oh no, [wink wink] just wanted to hang with you.” Which is still confusing. ”I recommend using context clues to determine if you’re dating. They don’t conquer black girls the way their ancestors conquered countries.

If that is happening with you, it could be them flirting. But, if you guys hang more than five times and nothing physical or romantic happens (hand holding, a kiss or more), then either it’s not a date or he’s a monk.

If you want to, of course, you don’t have to tell him all of our secrets). You may have noticed that the average white dude does not flirt/kick game/holla at a woman in the same way that the average black dude does. He kept calling it “hanging out.” And on these “dates” he didn’t say anything about my body, whether he liked it or what he wanted to do with it — you know standard black dude cues for “I have a romantic interest in you.”White men are super subtle. Because if Chad is shy, and a lot of white dudes are shy, he may get defensive or skittish and say, “No, no, we’re just hanging out.” And that would kill the vibe. If the answer to most or all of these is yes, it may be a date.

Hate to break it to you sis, but he’s a white person who has grown up in western society so he can’t help but be racist/prejudiced/biased etc. We as black women even have crazy distorted thoughts about ourselves because of it, so he’s certainly not going to be immune.The first few meals may be akin to the dinner scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom ( my personal fav of the Indiana Jones franchise) wherein Kate Capshaw gave the most incredible facial reactions of all time to crazy ass food like monkey brains and eyeball soup.Anyway, I digress, you will find something you like even if you end up settling on a piece of fruit.Doesn’t mean people can’t change and grow if they want to.Just means, I think you should take some of the pressure off of yourself to find some perfect racially unbiased white man.

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